bartonesque replied to your post: bartonesque replied to your post:  i have no clue…

ALWAYS TELL ME ABOUT THE GAYS

i was going to send you and ask but if i do it here i can use pictures

so

behold, team dancing gays

  • team dancing gays is a subset of characters appearing in the third generation of the fantastic legacy
  • they are
  • patch lebeau, beck and theo kaplan-altman, ramon richter, hope summers, erik tyone wilson, loa ryan, jimmy hudson, sean st. croix, alex power and occasionally robert banner and dan grimm
  • (although robert only exists in the circle because he’s dating erik tyrone)
  • we’ll start with patch
  • image
  • das patch
  • who’s real name is
  • xavier patch lebeau
  • but no one calls him xavier because then they think of charles and then they get sad
  • also patch is way funnier
  • anyway remember beau howlett
  • and how remy got turned into a chick and logan accidentally knocked himher up
  • well the opposite happened to create patch
  • hence why his last name is lebeau and not howlett
  • patch’s codename is ~blaze~
  • he’s got your standard howlett powers (healing/strength/etc) plus pyrokinetic claws/pyrokinesis
  • FIRE CLAWS it’s cool
  • anyway patch used to be on a team with dan grimm (sinqua) but then he became a teacher at xavier’s 
  • he teaches combat and strategy 101
  • basically he teaches basic combat and strategy skills before they move on to more advanced classes depending on what line of work they want to go into
  • he’s also the team leader of the dancing gays
  • (that’s not their official codename fyi) 
  • he’s a senior field agent and they’re all newbies
  • (and teenagers patch you are like 24 and you willingly hang out almost exclusively with a bunch of 17-18 year olds we worry
  • so it’s his job to
  • train them more
  • anyway
  • that’s patch
  • he’s also got a big inappropriate boner for
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  • theo kaplan-altman
  • theo is one of two science babies created by combining the dna of billy kaplan and teddy altman
  • the other is beck we’ll get to her in a minute
  • theo goes by asgardian and his powers are as follows
  • shapeshifting, superhuman strength, accelerated healing factor, flight, electrokinesis, magic, astral projection, teleportation, reality warping
  • he’s basically scarlet witch 3.0 in terms of power 
  • plus he’s also a skrull/kree/human hybrid 
  • theo is basically one of the most powerful mutants 
  • second only to frank richards
  • and he’s ridiculous 
  • he and his sister
  • when they’re not in school or being superheroes
  • work in the comic book store their fathers run
  • a lot of bad shit happens to theo but he powers through it because he’s a] scary freaking powerful and b] devastatingly optimistic in the face of disaster
  • like his dad, theo sometimes (most of the time) has difficulties making his magic work right so he gets really excited when he manages to not blow everything up
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  • theo i don’t think it’s working that well patch looks super concerned
  • anyway theo also has a huge boner for patch but is completely convinced that patch only sees him as a student/team mate/friend
  • theo is the team mom
  • theo’s twin sister is beck
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  • who’s real name is rebecca but no one calls her that
  • and her codename is hermes
  • she’s basically quicksilver 3.0
  • shapeshifting, superhuman strength, accelerated healing factor, superhuman speed, molecular acceleration
  • plus the skree-ness as you can see
  • beck is a super hbic who takes no shit, is fiercely protective of her brother and her team
  • she’s impulsive and sometimes acts without thinking and is kind of violent
  • which goes back to the speedster thing i guess
  • anyway she’s pretty friendly despite being really sarcastic and loves both her dads a lot but she’s closer to teddy 
  • she doesn’t actually like pietro that much but then again who does
  • she’s dating 
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  • hope summers
  • well you should know about hope summers
  • she’s not a tfl-original
  • she’s a legit marvel character
  • only in tfl she’s adopted by gabriel summers and jackson hyde (kaldur) 
  • and there’s none of the
  • phoenix nonsense
  • she’s still crazy and pretty powerful and likes to mess with her friends’ heads
  • specifically theo 
  • she’s super bff with 
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  • erik tyrone wilson codename deadshot
  • who is one of wade wilson’s five kids
  • powers: regenerative healing factor, superhuman strength, stability, stamina, agility, and reflexes, telepathic immunity, master marksman and swordsman, zoolingualism
  • no where near as crazy as his father or any of his siblings
  • still pretty crazy
  • has a twin sister named katrina who’s a fox shapeshifter person and she’s nuts and doesn’t really associate with them at all
  • he”s dating robert banner
  • people rarely call him just erik for whatever reason
  • it’s always erik tyrone
  • robert’s probably the only person who calls him erik
  • speaking of robert
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  • that’s him there
  • he’s allergic to shirts 
  • he’s also the science baby of bruce banner and tony stark because tony got drunk and sad on father’s day and thought it would be a good idea to break into the baby lab and make a son
  • robert’s more of an auxiliary dancing gay 
  • he hangs out with them because he’s dating erik and he goes on missions if they need an extra man but he prefers to be in the lab with his dads doing science
  • his codename is hazard and he’s basically hulk jr and he can shoot energy from his hands
  • then we have rrrrramon richter
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  • rrrrrrramon is the son of rictor and shatterstar 
  • but they didn’t want to use science so they used rahne as a surrogate/egg doner
  • so ramon’s a werewolf
  • because we’re lazy
  • he’s also got his dad’s vibrokinesis (best power name or best power name)
  • he’s wolfsbane 2.0  and he’s basically just an overgrown puppy
  • sort of clueless but loyal to a fault and viciously protective if he needs to be
  • rrrrrramon has been best friends with the twins basically since birth
  • he’s dating loa but they like to pretend they’re not dating but everyone knows they are even if they don’t
  • like i said clueless
  • anyway onto loa
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  • loa is one of the few characters in tfl that was 
  • in the original comics
  • a chick
  • but was turned into a dude because there is an
  • overwhelmingly larger number of females in tfl
  • the ratio of chicks to dudes is like ridiculously skewed in the favor of chicks
  • so sometimes we adapt lady characters but make them dudes
  • like loa
  • in tfl, he is named
  • alakal’i ryan 
  • but everyone calls him loa 
  • it’s easier to say
  • he is chill as fuck and sort of the calm heart of the group
  • everyone’s best friend and shoulder to cry in
  • really if patch si the team dad and theo is the team mom
  • loa is the older brother who teases you but is always there when you need to talk
  • dating but not really but actually really rrramon
  • ok and now for the new ones
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  • that’s jimmy hudson
  • who’s logan’s son from the ultimates verse
  • the fantastic ladies find him and are like
  • WOW JESUS
  • THIS UNIVERSE SUCKS A LOT
  • WANNA COME WITH US???
  • YOUR DAD IS ALIVE AND YOU’VE GOT LIKE 28238 SIBLINGS
  • and jimmy’s like yeah fuck it
  • this universe really does suck i mean i’m pretty much a fugitive and wanted dead because of how i was born so yeah i’m out
  • and he ends up on patch’s team because hey they’re brothers
  • but the fantastiverse still has a wolverine so he decides to take on the sabreclaw mantel because hudson isn’t using it anymore
  • jimmy’s kind of a slut at first and flirts with like half the team 
  • even when beck beats him up
  • he also ends up knocking up rayna gardner 
  • eventually he stops being a whore and starts dating
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  • sean st. croix
  • who is the science baby of monet st. croix and theresa cassidy
  • yEAH
  • he goes by banshee and his powers are:  superhuman strength, speed, agility, dexterity, reflexes, coordination, balance, vision, hearing, and endurance, genius-level intellect, accelerated healing factor, supersonic flight, telepathy, ability to perceive mutant auras, sonic scream, flight, supernatural persuasion via voice,  enhanced hearing, sound containment
  • this is just a casual reminder that this group of assholes is actually like the most powerful team in history
  • anyway sean is a big puppy with an enormous ego
  • he’s also one of the ones who gets skrull’d during secret invasion 2.0 
  • (along with hope, erik tyrone and jimmy)
  • anyway
  • when not being impersonated by a homicidal alien
  • sean takes after both his mothers with the scottish temper (and alcohol abuse) and the of course i’m right i’m speaking attitude but also manages to be
  • really adorable and sweet about it?
  • no one’s sure how it happened
  • but he’s adorable and is dating jimmy
  • and then there’s
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  • alex power of the power pack
  • who was actually the first born but tripped and fell into a time wormhole and ended up in gen 3
  • so he’s got gravity powers and an adorable smile and a broship with ramon 
  • he’s dating jamie moonstar
  • image
  • who’s the son of rahne sinclaire and dani moonstar
  • and his codename is ~moonbane~ and he’s got cool powers
  • but he’s not really relevant to this i mean i guess he hangs out with them but 
  • back to alex
  • he’s younger than julie but still older than the other power kids 
  • and sometimes has trouble accepting patch’s authority but 
  • also has a major mancrush on him because
  • c’mon
  • howlett pls
  • he also likes to go shopping with beck
  • anyway
  • there is a new howlett bc thats just what we needed
  • her name is asha and she’s patch’s previously interdimensionally dislocated twin sister
  • there’s also dan grimm
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  • who’s ben and alicia’s son 
  • ben is gen 2 and was on patch’s team 
  • before patch defected to teaching and eventually ended up in charge of the dancing gays
  • he and patch are still best friends and they go drinking together 
  • since nONE OF PATCH’S TEAM ARE LEGAL
  • dan is so done with patch and his ridiculous and just pats his back and listens to him whine about how did his life end up like this
  • dan is dating/probably married to by this point
  • image
  • shuri aka black panther aka t’challa’s hot sister
  • and they’re kind of like mentors to the younger dancing gays
  • and fabulous pls otp
  • anyway
  • that’s it for now

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